It’s heavy. Am I the only one feeling this lately?? Everything, and I mean everything, is ‘heavy.’ My body feels heavy, my mind feels heavy, every stress or sadness my husband is feeling, or my parents are feeling, I’m feeling. And it’s heavy. The cost of living is heavy. The workforce, it’s heavy. My job feels so heavy. Being a mom and trying to give my daughter the best version of myself, that’s probably the heaviest. I’m trying to be healthy, I’m trying to keep my sanity, I’m trying to keep my head up, but it’s heavy.
How can I be the best version of myself when I am carrying all this weight?
And I know, some of it isn’t even my weight to carry. But it’s still there. The only thing I can focus on right now is getting stronger because all this weight is starting to feel too heavy to carry. And that’s not a feeling I’m enjoying. If I don’t become strong enough to carry it, will it ever get lighter? I want to be able to take on everything and anything life throws my way. That’s a skill we’re supposed to have as moms, right? As women. Well, life just keeps throwing. Chucking. I’m losing a game of very intense dodgeball over here. I need to be able to lift the heavy.
But then I’m like, how do I get stronger? Physically, I could start lifting weights more often or get back into running. Mentally, I could start carving out more time to read or to write. Here’s the catch – WHEN. WHEN am I supposed to find time during my day to those things? I get up early before my kiddo, most days. I get up early before her so I can get a couple of uninterrupted hours of work in before her day starts. I work until about 3 or so M-F. Sometimes making up hours on Saturday mornings, also early before she wakes up. After I clock out, we go for a walk. Or we go to town to run errands. After that, we get back home cleanup the house /eat dinner/kiddo gets a bath/ and then by that time it’s already 8 o’clock. Have to get the kiddo down for bed, and then I’m ready for sleep around 9:30-10 so I can continue to get up early (for me it’s between 5-6AM).
Trying to be a good mom, good employee, good wife, good friend, good daughter, that all weighs a lot. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. That’s a lot of weight to be carrying (dragging for me at this point) Every. Single. Day. When will life’s throwing arm get tired? When I will be strong enough? How many reps will it take for this weight to feel lighter? I guess I’m just looking for a break.
On the same side of this though, I get worried that I’m playing the victim. Woe is me sort of thing. And I know, it’s also heavy to be negative all the time and focus on the struggle. But man, some days it feels like I can’t see anything else. The heavy consumes me. Some days I do well focusing on things that I can actually control. But other days, like today, the heavy, it’s all I can feel.
How do you guys handle the heavy? What are some activities you do that help you feel stronger?
Mom Brain 